hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
