dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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