i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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