You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
