My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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