SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
