walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
