Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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