I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize