Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
