apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
