May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
