One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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