I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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