sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize