no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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