You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The air was thick with penises
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
