I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize