Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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