good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Let's get the cat blown out
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
