It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize