It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
