yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
