We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize