And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
