UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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