After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
