The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
