This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
