physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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