how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
