I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
