Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
