I just gift wrapped bread.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
