well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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