you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
