just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize