What did we do last night that was yellow?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
