it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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