Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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