Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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