I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
