Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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