i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
