Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
