i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
