I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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