so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
