I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
