oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
