btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
