Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
