You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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