Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
