I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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