i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
