Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
