once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
