Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
