That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
