He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
