hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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