Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
