I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize