I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
